


why me

by trflgar



Series: Slowly healing [1]
Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-11
Updated: 2020-12-11
Packaged: 2021-03-11 04:07:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,199
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28008933
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/trflgar/pseuds/trflgar
Summary: Why did you love me? Why did you leave me?You looked into my eyes and smiled and longed for meWhy did you hold me?How can you be so fine without me?The eyes that used to look at me now look at someone elseAnd speaks of a different love.
Relationships: Han Jisung | Han/Seo Changbin, Kim Seungmin/Seo Changbin
Series: Slowly healing [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2059350
Comments: 1
Kudos: 3





	why me

**Author's Note:**

> this is my first time writing a fanfic and i am sorry if there is a lot of mistake since english is not my first language :(

Why did you choose to leave me instead of trying to talk about it? Why? He doesn't know how long he stood in front of this café, reminiscing his memories with him. They used to look so perfect and so in love with each other. Everyone would say they are a definition of a perfect partner. But everything changed within those 3 years together. Everything turned into a speck of dust, no meaning and direction to come back to. They fell out of love. They grew tired of the other's presence and wanted to escape from the place where they used to make love. Why would someone fall in love and suddenly decided the next day that they had enough of their other half? Is it even worth being called love? Is love really that painful and hurting until you cannot look into everything and be reminded about your memories with him? He sighed. It’s been a year since their breakup and yet here he is still stuck and afraid to enter the cafe that he used to love to go to. Too many memories there, he thought. During those painful years, he tried to stand up back and fixed his broken heart quietly. Yes, his friends did call him and even worried for him. But he ignored them because he didn't want to be seen as a weak person. Not like he ever was strong before though, he just didn’t want to burden his friends with his already broken heart and crumbling self-esteem. World seemed to stop when that thing happened, he was just there standing and processing what his other half was trying to say, “You know that we should stop this right?” those words still ringing in his ears. How could it not? When all he wanted was to cuddle with his lover after a really tiring day, but instead of doing just that his other half just sat on their couch while crossing his arms and looked at him with his cold eyes. He doesn't remember seeing that once loving eyes could be so cold until it pierce his soul. The eyes that once looked at him with so much loved and cared, shattered in pieces that cannot be fixed anymore. “What are you talking about, bin?” he softly muttered and desperately reached for the other hand to hold. That latter however retracted his hands from his reach, still looking at him with those cold eyes. “I say we should stop doing this. Look sung, I can’t do this anymore. I can’t. I am not like I used to be, I-i…” he stopped talking suddenly. He looks at his face trying to find whether this is a prank or not. It can’t be real right? They just celebrated their 3rd year anniversary last week. He once again braves himself to reach for the older hand and this time he succeeds even though it looks like the older just wants to run from it. “Hey, look at me? I don’t understand all of this. Why?” it was so quiet, eerily quiet. The skies seemed to know how he felt because at that time the rain started to pour, Changbin still not answering his questions, he was just there sitting while he held his hands. Then, he can feel his partner release his breath and start to tremble, “I’m sorry sung. I-I have someone else. I think I fell in love with that person, I tried to ignore it but living in this apartment together with you makes me suffocated. I can’t do this anymore, I’m sorry.” Oh how his heart felt so painful when he heard those words. He can’t process anything, he doesn’t feel his breath, his body temperature suddenly colds like he’s been dumped with ice cold water. This is just a joke, none of this is true, and it's just a prank and he repeated those words like a mantra on his mind. It is impossible his lover would throw all of their memories together like it was just an old used rugged. Changbin is not like this, no he isn’t. But all those mantras that he tried to think vanished when he saw his lover push his luggage and walked out from their apartment. He was just there looking and still numb on the couch that they used to have a movie night while cuddling. The other didn’t even wait for his response, it just looked like he already calculated all his moves and how to make jisung’s heart feel like it doesn’t worth anymore. Why? Why me? He thought. That night he fell asleep while crying just like the rain outside. For a month, he tried to reach him but to no avail changbin just basically left him without direction, he disappeared from jisung’s life. Not to be seen and contact ever again. None of their mutual friends knew about Changbin's whereabouts, all they did was make a pity face at jisung and he very much hated it. If only the other gave him an actual explanation instead of leaving him just like that. If only he could react during those times and chased after him, if only- “Oops, sorry. I’m sorry.” a guy with soft brown hair bowed to him, making him come back to reality where he was still standing in front of the café. He shakes his head lightly, “It’s fine” he mutters back. That guy still looked worried but then he heard a familiar voice, it can’t be. It can’t be the person that he uselessly trying to find is here, “Minnie, I told you to stop walking mindlessly-“ he sees that face, still the same face and smile. The cute dimple on his cheek was slightly visible because of how much he was smiling toward the person in front of him. The brown haired guy which he assumes is Seungmin looks back at that voice and smiles back. “It is not my fault you are a slow walker sweetie.” All of his thoughts suddenly shut down, he wanted to run and hug him and ask him a lot of questions, but he knew the other would probably ignore him. So, he did what he knew was the best option for him, he ran. Run until he is out of breath with no destination, just run with his broken heart. He hates himself for still thinking about his used to be lover happiness instead of himself. He hates how much he wants an answer but his conscious mind tells him to stop doing that. To stop hoping for something that already left him for a long time. To Han Jisung, Seo Changbin gives him everything he wanted in life. But maybe the world just hates him, maybe and just maybe in another universe the world would not be this cruel to him. Just maybe.

_**Why did you love me? Why did you leave me?** _

_**You looked into my eyes and smiled and longed for me** _

_**Why did you hold me?** _

_**How can you be so fine without me?** _

_**The eyes that used to look at me now look at someone else** _

_**And speaks of a different love.** _

**Author's Note:**

> why me - Infinite. Still the best ballad song ever


End file.
